Why Filipino Marriages Fail?

Filipinos are born romantic so they say and everyone (or maybe not all) dream of a “and they live happily ever after” married life. It’s not impossible though when couples try to meet each other’s needs, understand each other’s weaknesses, make an effort to maintain the passion and romance in their married life, encourage each other to improve one’s well being, bask in one another’s successes and support each other during failures and sorrows.

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So why Filipino marriages fail?

Spousal Abuse. As of 2002, militant women's group Gabriela said at least 15 women and six children are beaten up daily. In 2001, Gabriela recorded 5,668 cases of wife battering and 2,274 cases of maltreatment of children. 

 Drug Addiction/Alcoholism. According to the International Narcotics Control Board, the use of methamphetamine hydrochloride or shabu has become "the most popular drug of abuse" in the Philippines. The Anti-Narcotics Group of the Philippine National Police disclosed that around 1.8 million of the 80 million Filipinos were regular drug users. In the 1997 Family Income and Expenditure Survey, an average Filipino family spends one per cent of its income on alcoholic beverages. However, if for example a minimum wage earner gets $5 a day, and if he develops the habit of drinking at least three bottles of beers every night,  that would mean spending $1 a day on beer, which is already 20 per cent of his hard earned money.

Infidelity. The husband’s infidelity is a major concern in Filipino marriages (PCP II, 1992). Carandang (1987) notes that wives rank infidelity as the number one family stressor. Lacar (1993) reports that male infidelity is the most frequent reason for marital separation. Vancio (1980, 1977) cites male infidelity as a major issue for marital break-ups in Metro Manila. In the McCann Metro Manila Male Study (1995), half of the 485 male respondents reported having had extramarital affairs. Relucio (1995) in her in-depth interview with seven separated women, notes that "infidelity was found to be a common problem." Dayan, et. al. (1995) in their study of 60 petitioners for nullity of marriage, report that adultery was one of the major reasons cited. In spite of the above figures, there are no clear records on figures about marital break-ups with finality because of the absence of divorce in the Philippines (Lapuz 1977).

Irreconcilable Differences.  


Factors considered with regards to irreconcilable differences may include the following:

· Conflict of personality

· Whether there is mutual concern for the emotional needs of each other

· Whether the marriage is characterized by financial difficulties

· Long physical separation

· Difference of interests

· Resentment

· Distrust

  Constant bickering

· Irreversible antagonistic feelings

Marriage is not something that we can easily put an end with. In most cases, children are the victims. As William James (American Philosopher and Psychologist, leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism, 1842-1910)  says - “Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”