Laswa or Vegetable Soup

OKRA - one of the ingredients for LASWA

"Laswa" or vegetable soup is one of my favorite dish to eat on Sundays when my family gathers for lunch. Most especially if it is cooked by my sister in law. This Ilonggo dish is consist of squash, okra, string beans, eggplant, leaves of "tugabang" or jute and shrimps. 

This dish is very versatile and healthy. Versatile because one can add other vegetables to their liking like leaves of "alugbati" and/or "takway". Or if one cannot find one or two of the veggies,  it really doesn't matter coz you can still achieve the great taste and nutrition "laswa" has to offer. However, tugabang should not be missed. It's not "laswa" if its not slimy. To taste, just add salt and/or shrimp paste. My favorite way is to add seashells such as clams or nylon shells or both. It's healthy because most of the vegetables being used are greens. Green vegetables contain vitamins A, B, C, E, and K and also contain an abundance of phytonutrients (or phytochemicals) such as zeaxanthin, lutein and beta-carotene; valuable chemicals which protect cells from damage.Green leafy vegetables also contain high levels of dietary fibre, magnesium, potassium, folic acid, calcium and even Omega-3 fatty acids, which serve to maintain eye health, aid in digestive regulation, increase bone strength and boost the immune system.  (Leafy Green Vegetables and Their Health Benefits: What Leafy Vegetables can do for Your Health | Suite101.com http://www.suite101.com)

 

To cook, wash all ingredients well, boil water then add a spoon of shrimp paste. One may also use the popular vegetable broth or shrimp cube. Add squash cut in cubes first. When squash is a little soft add sliced okra, string beans and eggplant. Add seashells. Lastly, add the tugabang or jute leaves and season to taste. Do not overcook. Add a pinch of salt to taste. It is best serve when the vegetables are still crunchy. The measurement for vegetables and other ingredients are all up to you. I like more okra in my laswa though.

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Very easy to prepare and easy on the pocket too since one can buy cut and packed mixed vegetables for laswa or pinakbet at P10 per pack only (at Libertad Market in Bacolod City) good for a family of three. No need for skinning, slicing and cutting. One just had to add a bunch of "tugabang" or jute at P5, a "tumpok" of nylon shell costs P15 and one can buy shrimp paste at P2-P5. Great!

My Kids Part 2

My second daughter Ceci or Maria Cecilia, came into this world on the day when the rebellion against then President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo failed. It was a day of reckoning since a state of rebellion was declared in the National Capital Region. We watched the happenings in Manila right in my hospital room.

Ceci was delivered normally. I appreciated how the nurses at the labor room at Doctor's Hospital  were so helpful and understanding at that time. My husband was not allowed to be in the room so everytime I got contractions I want to hold on to something. I asked the nurse if I can hold on to her arm and she said "Ma'am its ok so long as you will not pinch me"...that kept me wondering - are there really women on labor who pinch nurses during contractions? Poor girl! Of course, I did not pinch her and I was a very nice lady on labor pains. I was not shouting, I was just grimacing during contractions and just kept on saying  "aaaraaaaay!" When I'm already crowning, the nurses immediately transferred me to the delivery room. My ob-gyne was not around yet at that time, only the intern and nurses. It came to a point that Ceci's head is already coming out of my womb. The intern told me to stop pushing the baby out and she tried to push the baby's head back. I was not pushing in fact she came out naturally because it was really her time to come out. Luckily at that moment my ob-gyne arrived and I heard her say - "its ok Mylene push the baby out". I did maybe one or two and she's out. Yey!

And so, I thought it is really nice to give birth in the hospital at midnight or early morning because the staff really takes care of you and they have very few patients. I remember there were only two of us at the labor room that night.

Ceci is now nine years old and she's full of life and love. She always give me hugs and kisses. Very affectionate. When I left the house on "liberation day" she became responsible. She look after the welfare of her brother and act like an adult in the house. She's interested in cooking and lately pestered me to buy her ingredients so she can bake a cake. I had to convince her that she can only bake with me around.

My Kids, Part 1

Meet my three wonderful kids - Michelle, Ceci & PJ. They are my inspiration and the apple of my eyes. Michelle is 15 years old as of this writing, Ceci is 9 and PJ is 7. My eldest daughter is now a teenager and will start senior year in two months. Ceci will be in 4th Grade and PJ will be in 2nd Grade by June also. Each have their own characteristics that endears them to me. I love them so much but since separating from my husband entailed a great sacrifice for me. Ceci and PJ were left with their father and of course, Michelle will be wherever I am. On weekends, Ceci or PJ is with us, so I get to have one of them 2-3 nights a week. Not much, but I'm okay for now. I can't have them yet but I am praying that soon they will be with us for good. 

My first daughter was born into this world when I was 24 years old. Having her taught me strength and determination. Raising her up on my own did not scare me because I realize that even blind beggars on the streets can afford to raise a family by just begging. When I, I have a college diploma (thanks to my mom)and  physically fit to find work. Do you know how much I spent when I delivered Michelle? A measly sum of P800! A midwife or "komadrona" assist me in giving birth and her fee was only P500, and I asked her to help me for the first week and she only ask for an additional P300. You see, I gave birth to my first daughter at my parents house only. I was confident that I will and can have a normal delivery and I only got a few thousand pesos saved although Michelle's father sent some for my delivery. But I have to think forward - milk, diaper, food and so on...so I can't afford to splurge on my delivery expenses. Thank God for midwives and the local health center. Michelle's vaccinations were free plus my consultation during the course of my pregnancy was free too. I have to give credit to our government for providing health centers to barrios and barangays. Health Centers are really a great help to those who can't afford to pay professional doctors, for solo parents like me and countless unwed mothers out there. Five months after I gave birth to Michelle, I am working again. I can't thank the Lord enough.

Yes, I was an unwed mother and it did not hinder me from raising Michelle up to be what she is right now. An independent and dependable person that she is. A lot like me though....hehe but I am raising her up minus the negativity I got from others...who can't, will not and always fails to understand that I am also struggling and need encouragement too. Ha! But I have friends and family members who never fails to lift me up. Till the next part ^^ Ciao!

Enjoying Solo

Ever since going solo, I always grab every opportunity to be with my family and friends if time permits. I loved being surrounded by those who knows me really well, who understand the concerns of my age and situation, and accepts me for what I am. I love the fact that I am with positive minded people. Who can take life’s challenges with a cheer and never doubt for one second that God with His infinite kindness will not fail to bless those who are in need.

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Just take for example these past few days. On April Fool’s Day my college buddies and I had a get together because a friend of ours arrived from Dubai and she especially requested that we meet her two (2) days after her arrival. And so we did, and had a great time. What makes it more special is that we talked and talked despite of the videoke singing temptation, and our concerns mostly are --- health, children, relationships, etc. and we are all like-minded persons. Did I mention that from the seven of us who met that night – four (4) are happily married and three (3) are happily separated….^^ I was like recharged and before we parted ways we promised to see each other again soon. How cool is that?

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Over the weekend, my two girls and I went home to my hometown Hinigaran. We stayed at my cousin’s house. This cousin of mine has a big influence over me and I really appreciate her wisdom. We both are on the same boat of having insecure and abusive husbands. This one relationship though I really appreciate because of her presence since I was small, she’s kinda big sister to me. Since we grew up together it’s more likely that our idea of fun is the same. April 3 (Sunday), we went to our local beach resort and showed my girls places where we used to go when we were teen-agers. We had a great time, plus the fact that we had visitors from my workplace, and so we acted as tourist guide of sort and showed them my hometown. What a weekend!

In the background, my ex husband always and I say always never fails to send text or call to let me know that what I am doing is stupid and that I am a failure as a mother coz I am out there enjoying. It is his person that when I am enjoying and he is not because he doesn’t know how to….he makes sure that he will find issues to hurl on me and tries to destroy my day. But hey, I am with friends and family right? He doesn’t and will not understand that these people are my strength and support. Compared to him, he has no one to turn to. His family doesn’t want to be around him, he’s friends seldom sees him coz he’s an emotional vampire. 

In the end, what is really important in my life right now is nourishing relationships - relationships with long time friends and relationship with family. They are my support system being a solo parent. And you know what? I’m up for meeting new friends. Life is really beautiful!

Why Filipino Marriages Fail?

Filipinos are born romantic so they say and everyone (or maybe not all) dream of a “and they live happily ever after” married life. It’s not impossible though when couples try to meet each other’s needs, understand each other’s weaknesses, make an effort to maintain the passion and romance in their married life, encourage each other to improve one’s well being, bask in one another’s successes and support each other during failures and sorrows.

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So why Filipino marriages fail?

Spousal Abuse. As of 2002, militant women's group Gabriela said at least 15 women and six children are beaten up daily. In 2001, Gabriela recorded 5,668 cases of wife battering and 2,274 cases of maltreatment of children. 

 Drug Addiction/Alcoholism. According to the International Narcotics Control Board, the use of methamphetamine hydrochloride or shabu has become "the most popular drug of abuse" in the Philippines. The Anti-Narcotics Group of the Philippine National Police disclosed that around 1.8 million of the 80 million Filipinos were regular drug users. In the 1997 Family Income and Expenditure Survey, an average Filipino family spends one per cent of its income on alcoholic beverages. However, if for example a minimum wage earner gets $5 a day, and if he develops the habit of drinking at least three bottles of beers every night,  that would mean spending $1 a day on beer, which is already 20 per cent of his hard earned money.

Infidelity. The husband’s infidelity is a major concern in Filipino marriages (PCP II, 1992). Carandang (1987) notes that wives rank infidelity as the number one family stressor. Lacar (1993) reports that male infidelity is the most frequent reason for marital separation. Vancio (1980, 1977) cites male infidelity as a major issue for marital break-ups in Metro Manila. In the McCann Metro Manila Male Study (1995), half of the 485 male respondents reported having had extramarital affairs. Relucio (1995) in her in-depth interview with seven separated women, notes that "infidelity was found to be a common problem." Dayan, et. al. (1995) in their study of 60 petitioners for nullity of marriage, report that adultery was one of the major reasons cited. In spite of the above figures, there are no clear records on figures about marital break-ups with finality because of the absence of divorce in the Philippines (Lapuz 1977).

Irreconcilable Differences.  


Factors considered with regards to irreconcilable differences may include the following:

· Conflict of personality

· Whether there is mutual concern for the emotional needs of each other

· Whether the marriage is characterized by financial difficulties

· Long physical separation

· Difference of interests

· Resentment

· Distrust

  Constant bickering

· Irreversible antagonistic feelings

Marriage is not something that we can easily put an end with. In most cases, children are the victims. As William James (American Philosopher and Psychologist, leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism, 1842-1910)  says - “Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”